Maury: Naruto Style
by animedude16
Summary: AU the tv show Maury but Naruto Style who will come out the father and who will come out the liar? Summary changed.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys I've had this idea in my head for a while maybe it's because I've been watching too much Maury lol. Hope you enjoy.**

"Hello America and welcome to the Tsunade show!" Applauses and screams are heard from the audience. The hostess was a woman in her late forties but she didn't look a day over 25. Her hair was in two pigtails and was a blonde. Just like the stereotype she has a large chest but isn't an airhead. Her eyes were a light brown and she was a force to be reckoned with. Her shirt showed off a little of her cleavage and wore black pants with black sandals.

Tsunade is sitting in a very comfortable chair that allows her to turn her body in the direction to her guests or audience. She is facing her audience. "Today we have a young lady named Tenten who is 18 everyone welcome Tenten!" the audience applauses.

A young girl comes out with her hair in twin buns. She is wearing a pink Chinese shirt with a golden dragon on the side. Also wearing jeans and tennis shoes she shyly waves at the audience, not entirely sure what's she doing or why she waved to a bunch of strangers. She shakes hands with the hostess and takes a seat next to her.

Tsunade turns her body to face Tenten. "So Tenten tell us, why are you here?"

Tenten fidgets with her fingers. "Well uh you see I have err well had a boyfriend named Kiba." A screen behind Tsunade and to the left of Tenten turns on and Kiba a young teen age 18 with brown hair and red tattoos of triangles on his cheeks and a black jacket appears.

"So why have you brought him here?"

"I would like to know who the father of my baby is Kiba or this other guy named Neji." The screen splits in half and next to Kiba another young teen is shown. Neji who is 19 with long brown hair and violet eyes appears.

"There is another possibility for the father? Oh great. I need some sake Shizune!"

Tenten and the audience look at Tsunade in shock and disbelief as the women Shizune brings Tsunade a sake bottle and a glass. Tsunade fills the glass and drinks it, then looks at Tenten. "What? You want some?"

Tenten shakes her head slowly "uh no thanks?" What the hell kind of show was this?

Tsunade shrugs and fills another glass. "Great now were we…oh yes two possibilities. How did this all start?"

Tenten blinks. This hostess was very…unusual. Coming on here didn't seem like a good idea anymore. But she needed the help and this strange lady can help her. "Umm well I was dating Kiba for a while we had relations but I caught him cheating so we broke up. There was a party at a friend's house and I only went because I promised my friend I would. I was still pretty torn up the break up and Neji was there, my shoulder to cry on and-"

Tsunade interrupts "sorry I didn't ask for the life story all I needed to know is you had sex with Kiba and Neji." She fills the glass once again and drinks it.

Tenten shifts uncomfortably in her seat, blushing, and opens her mouth to speak but Tsunade beats her to it. "Know what? Let's bring out the guys, make things more interesting."

Tenten begins to panic. "Hey wait a minute I didn't-"

"OK! Kiba Neji come on out!" She stands up to greet them.

Tenten trying to protest is not heard from the audience standing cheering as Kiba and Neji come out onto the stage.

Kiba is the first to walk on the stage shakes Tsunade's hand and moves his chair away from Tenten. Neji comes out next to greet Tsunade then goes and sits next to Tenten.

Tsunade returns to her seat and holds out the bottle of sake. "Hey boys want some? It will ease the tension I can just feel it."

They both shake their heads Tsunade continues. "So boys what's with all this tension?"

Kiba glares at Neji and speaks first, "well if _he_ didn't but in _our_ business we wouldn't be here."

Neji scoffs "please she doesn't deserve you cheating dog." He places his hand on Tenten's leg to try and reassure her.

Kiba growls "what are you talking about? You didn't even know she existed before I started dating her. You completely ignored her."

Neji glares at Kiba, "I will admit that's true but", he turns and gives Tenten a kiss. "I'm not going to leave her now."

Tenten blushes at this and manages a small smile.

Tsunade refills her glass and asks "so Tenten who do you want to be the dad?"

"Well I would like Neji to be the dad but if it's not I can work something out with Kiba."

Kiba speaks up "why are we even here Tenten? We both know it's not Neji's kid the baby doesn't have his eyes."

Tsunade raises her eye brow and asks "Neji's eyes? I don't completely understand mind explaining?"

Kiba smiles, "sure thing. See in Neji's family the rich and so famous Hyuga's all have the same eyes. It's the dominate trait all their kids come out with the same violet eyes."

Tenten looks down at her hands on her lap; Neji grabs her hand and squeezes it a little.

Kiba continues "Tenten's baby doesn't have violet eyes so that makes it mine. We can just head on home now so I can be a good dad don't you think so Ten?

Neji jumps in "I don't think so Kiba, you're not going to be around Ten. He's just going to use the excuse of seeing the baby to try and get close to her again."

Kiba rolls his eyes "please Neji if this is my kid you can't stop me from seeing him I'll have the law on my side."

Tsunade laughs "haha burn Neji he has you there."

The three look at her knowing she is starting to get drunk but don't want to say anything for fear of what might happen if they did. How is it legal to drink in an area with minors?

"Hey keep talking while I get Shizune to go get me more sake. Shizune!

The stage goes quiet not even the audience is making a noise. Shizune runs back on stage with a new bottle of sake.

Tsunade fills her glass once more and looks at Tenten. "So if this eyes business is true why have you brought Neji here?"

"Well his eyes might be the dominate trait but there is always a slim chance that it won't appear. The baby has my eyes."

Tsunade is on her third glass of the second sake bottle she looks at Neji next. "Tell me if this kid isn't yours what are your plans?"

"Still be with Tenten I've grown too attached to her and the baby and I won't let him get in the way." He glares at Kiba as he says the last part

Kiba glares back "my kid Hyuga I have to see him I'm not going to sign over my rights whether you like it or not."

"You're just mad that you lost something great, too damn blind to see it." He turns to Tenten again and gives her another kiss.

Kiba stands up in anger. "Hands off Hyuga!"

Neji also stands "I am not afraid of you. You will stay away from Tenten."

"You don't have the right to say I can't see my son!"

"You do nothing for him or Tenten!"

"That's because you won't let me come near her or my son!"

"Excuses!"

Tsunade watched the bickering teens with disinterest. Tenten stands between them and looks at Neji with pleading eyes. "Please don't start a fight."

Neji is reluctant but nevertheless sits down. He didn't want to upset Tenten nor embarrass Kiba on national television by kicking his sorry ass. Kiba was about to insult Neji when Tenten turns in his direction and gives him a dirty glare. Kiba says nothing and also sits back down. The audience "ahh" when a fight didn't break out.

Tsunade drinks her finally glass of sake and says, "ok let's get these results done with I don't need to see any more lovely actions or a fight on my stage plus I'm out of sake. Shizune the results!"

Shizune gives the envelope to Tsunade. "Ok people let's see who the daddy is."

The audience applauds and screams.

"Ok in the case of Tenten's kid, Kiba… you are NOT the father. Neji you ARE the father!" The audience is going crazy clapping and screaming

Kiba has his mouth wide open from shock and Neji just smiles and hugs Tenten.

Kiba recovers from his shock. "Wait that can't be right! You changed the results!"

Neji smiles at Kiba smugly "just accept the fact I'm the father and you're not."

Tsunade sighs and stands. "Man what a day I'm tired alright you three get off my stage I need a nap and some more sake. Oh ya and don't do anything stupid backstage got it? I'm not in the mood to kick any ass today."

The three just nod slowly and quickly get off stage the audience claps as they leave.

**BACKSTAGE**

Neji smiles holding his son and looks at Tenten, "see what I tell you. I'm the dad."

Tenten smiles "ya and I couldn't be happier." She gives Neji and her son a kiss each.

**Hope you guys liked it and I don't know whether I should make another one but with a different couple. If anyone has a couple they would like me to do just ask. But I won't do ShikaIno I just can't. Any other couple I probably would do.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another ep of Naruto: Maury lol this one will be a NaruSaku. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: forgot to put this in the previous chapter but I don't own Naruto or Maury.**

"Hello America and welcome to another episode of The Tsunade Show!" The hostess Tsunade is standing up with her hands thrown in the air as the audience is cheering loudly. She is wearing the same thing as in the previous episode. She has dubbed this outfit "the kickass clothes that will shock and give obvious results to these idiot people!" Beside it was too much work looking for a new outfit every day. Especially since she went out drinking with the boys yesterday….never challenge Asuma to a drinking contest again.

She sits down and says, "Before I introduce my guest I need my sake, Shizune!" Said women runs to the stage and hands her two sake bottles with a glass.

Tsunade fills up her first glass and drinks it then says, "ok on today's episode is all about lies and the ugly truth."

She looks at the audience and says "everyone welcome my guest Sakura!" the audience claps.

She turns and looks at a young teen of 18 years with pink hair and green eyes. Sakura is wearing a red sleeveless shirt, black shorts, and knee high boots. For a minute Tsunade doesn't say anything neither does the audience, until Sakura breaks the silence.

"What? Wait if this is about my hair yes it's natural and no I haven't dyed it once."

Tsunade raises an eyebrow and asks, "Are you positive about that?"

Sakura breaths out and balls her fists. "I am positive can we move on I don't feel like punching the hostess of this show I'd rather punch my idiot of a boyfriend who's backstage right now."

"Please kid like I would let you punch me. If anything I would send you flying with a flick of my finger." Tsunade refills her glass and drinks.

Sakura gives her a look and says, "Really old lady can do that? You're drinking sake on national TV and you're like what 50 years old? How much plastic surgery have you had?"

A vein pops out of Tsunade's forehead and she stands up "want to take this outside kid?"

Sakura stands up as well "you got it old timer."

Tsunade grabs Sakura by the collar of her shirt while Sakura aims to grab her throat. Body guards run to separate the two and the TV screen goes black with the words **PLEASE STAND BY** with the annoying buzzing sound.

The TV screen goes back to normal and we see Tsunade with a smirk finishing her first sake bottle while Sakura has a blank expression but appears to have no injuries. The body guards are standing by knowing Tsunade might try something again. The audience is too stunned for words. There was a silent agreement, no one would speak about what the hostess just did to the guest.

Tsunade clears her throat and looks at Sakura. "So are there any more problems or can we continue?" Sakura shakes her head slowly.

She continues "ok anyway since today is about cheating my guest is here because she thinks her boyfriend is cheating." The audience boos as the screen behind Tsunade and to the left of Sakura turns on and shows a teen of 18 with unruly blond hair and blue eyes with an orange shirt appears.

She looks at Sakura "so tell me when this all started?"

Sakura shakes her head to get a hold of herself and says, "it started when I went over to his house and I found him passed out on the couch with just his boxers on, not that surprising. What was though is that I looked on the floor by him and found this."

She takes out a plastic bag from behind her and from that bag takes out a red lacy thong and throws it on the floor. The audience boos and ohh while Tsunade just looks at the underwear in disgust. "Hey I don't want or need that there. Lord knows what STDs that thing probably contains. It's probably contaminated my stage! God dammit now we need to get the steam cleaners in here….Shizune!"

Shizune runs on stage with tongs and picks up the underwear and walks off stage. Tsunade looks back at Sakura. "What else? Just don't throw any more underwear on my floor. Or we will have problems."

Sakura smiles sheepishly, "sorry I won't. He's known for being a lair and he has learned some umm" she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. "New moves for a certain activity and keeps blaming some old geezer with long white hair just so I won't punch him, except I don't believe him for a second."

Tsunade spits out the sake she was drinking and coughs trying to regain her breath. Her throat burned a little and her eyes got watery. After a few seconds she says, "Oh this is soo interesting. I can't wait to meet this guy. In fact let's bring him out. Everyone welcome Naruto!" She stands to greet him while the audience boos at Naruto as he comes onto the stage.

Sakura gets up and moves the chair to the other side of the stage and goes and sits back down next to Tsunade. Naruto frowns and says "hey Sakura why did you move my chair? Can't I sit next to you?"

"No you can't idiot just sit down and shut up." He does that and crosses his arms with a confused look on his face.

Tsunade looks at Naruto while drinking a glass of sake and asks, "so Naruto what do you have to say about your situation?"

Naruto looks at her and says "I don't have the slightest idea why she's so mad. All I did was sleep on _my_ couch in _my_ boxers." He's moving his arms wildly to emphasize his point. "When did that go against the law?"

Tsunade asks him "well what about the sexy nasty underwear she found at your place that was basically underneath you?"

"I swear I don't know. I would never cheat on Sakura after it took so long for her to say yes to me. Come on Sakura you have to believe me."

Sakura just crosses her arms and looks away. Tsunade drinks another glass of sake and asks, "Who's this old geezer that you keep blaming?"

Naruto jumps out of his seat yelling, "That old perv has caused nothing but trouble for me the day I met him peeping into the girls shower room at the gym!"

Sakura stands to, fists balled and giving Naruto a deadly glare "the girls shower room… you said you met him at the pool that's by Kiba's house!"

He gulps puts his arms in front of him in defense "uh d-did I say shower room I-I meant the pool wait Sakura, Sakura don't you dare please don't ahhh!"

Tsunade has her glass halfway to her lips raised eyebrow as she just watched Sakura give a nasty punch to Naruto on his head. Sakura sits back down and breaths out slowly trying to control herself, after all she is on national TV.

Naruto on the other hand is on the floor giant bump on his head unconscious. Tsunade looks at her producer sitting in the front of the audience. "If she killed him we can edit that out right?"

Sakura rolls her eyes "trust me he's not dead. His head is as thick as a boulder."

Tsunade gets up and stands over Naruto's limp body. She nudges his body with her foot but he does nothing. Tsunade looks at Sakura, "not bad kid. Hey with a bit of training from me you wouldn't believe what you could do."

Sakura looks surprised and blushes a little "oh well thanks."

Naruto groans and sits up slowly rubbing his head "owwwww"

Tsunade looks down at him, "ok one last question. What about the new sex moves then?"

Naruto takes a minute to understand what she said then blushes at this and replies stuttering. "Uh well I umm you see there was this thing with that one thing, orange book, dude hair white and well uh-"

Tsunade interrupts "OK quiet your just talking nonsense now! Also I'm out of sake! Let's get the results now Shizune!"

Shizune goes up and gives her the results, Tsunade sits down. "Alright then Naruto hurry and sit down so I can read these and we all can go home."

Naruto gets up and sits down still rubbing his aching head.

Tsunade looks at the both of them, "alright Naruto you were asked do you love Sakura, you said yes, the lie detector determined you're telling the truth."

Naruto grins at the audience who in return clap for him. Sakura yells, "That's only one that's only one. We still have more to go" she crosses her arms.

"Naruto you were asked was the underwear found by Sakura from a girl you cheated on her with, you said no, and the lie detector determined you're telling the truth."

Naruto stands up and throws his hands in the air while the audience cheers. Sakura gets up hugs and kisses Naruto. Naruto gets his chair and moves it back next to Sakura and sits down.

"Naruto you were asked have you ever cheated on Sakura during your relationship, you said no, and the lie detector determined you're telling the truth."

Audience cheers loudly as Sakura gives a bear hug to Naruto and kisses him.

Tsunade looks at the two and says "alright you guys you have your answers now leave my stage before your love fest gets any further. I want no babies being made on my stage."

Both blush at her comment, nod, get up and leave.

Tsunade yells "hey there is something you're going to love that's backstage!"

**BACKSTAGE**

Naruto has his hands on Sakura's waist forehead touching hers and looking into her eyes "see what I tell you I would never cheat on you," gives her a quick peck on the lips.

Sakura smiles "ya sorry I didn't believe you but I just couldn't believe an old man with white hair-" she looks over his shoulder. Naruto gives her a confused look, "what?" He turns around to find the one and only old geezer giving him all his problems.

"Hey perverted man you're going to get it now!" Sakura puts her hands on his shoulders he turns to look at her; she smiles sweetly and starts walking toward the old man.

Sakura taps the old man on the shoulder he turns and looks at her and asks, "uhh can I help you?"

Sakura continues to smile sweetly and responses "yes I believe my boyfriend has befriended you and I would just like to thank you."

"Oh really is your boyfriend an annoying blond? Yes I've taught him a thing a tw- hey kid w-why do you have that c-chair? Hey wait no I didn't-ahhh!"

Sakura walks back to Naruto grabs his arm and starts dragging him away.

Tsunade walks backstage and smirks as she looks down at the body with pieces of a broken chair around it. "Jiraiya you just can't seem to stay out of trouble huh? I don't care whether you change your habits or not. I get a laugh out of all your pain."

She gives him a kick and he wakes up groaning. Tsunade laughs "I know you're going to keep coming back here."

She walks off to her trailer for more sake and a nap. Hosting a TV show was a lot of work. Do you know how much a person gets tired just sitting there drinking and watching teens beat up each other? It's a lot of work but money worth earning.

**Don't forget to review and let me know if you want a certain couple or couples. Thank you** **have a nice day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey again guys next couple is ShikaTema but they may be a bit more on the OOC side. Don't forget to review and tell me what couples you would like me to write about. The **_beep_** are certain words that are blocked out by TV remember?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the shoes on my feet**

"Welcome back to the show with more results and more drama. This is the Tsunade Show!" Audience goes wild with cheering and clapping.

"Since Shizune already brought me my sake and I just got comfy let's get this started. Today my guest is an 19 year old who is having issues with her boyfriend's mother. Everyone welcome Temari." Audience claps and cheers some whistling from the guys.

"So let's put the obvious aside who are you testing today because I can just feel the anger coming out of you."

Temari has a scowl on her otherwise pretty face. She is wearing a black shirt with a white weasel on the front, shorts, and black converse. Temari was trying to keep her temper in check but doesn't work for long. "I am pissed off at a certain lazy ass and his freaking mother! If it weren't for _that_ woman we wouldn't be here!"

Tsunade raises her eyebrow after a drink of sake and asks, "So he's a momma's boy then?"

"Understatement of the _beep_ year. He is a huge momma's boy and a _beep_ coward for not standing up for himself!"

Tsunade rolls her eyes, "you need your mouth washed...why the hell do you young people have to bring your parents?" She sighs and drinks more sake.

Temari ignores the first comment. "That is exactly what I'm saying but he's too much of a _beep_ baby to do anything by himself."

"Wait how old is this guy?"

"He just turned 17 but he was 16 when we _were_ together."

"Wait I thought you guys were dating."

"Not anymore. You can thank his mother for that."

Tsunade is flipping through her note cards the producers usually give her. They contain information about the guest and give her things to talk about if the sake clouds her brain too much.

Tsunade glares at the cards. "Stupid producers. They said you guys were still dating."

Temari glares at the floor anger radiating off her. "His mother is more important."

Tsunade tosses the note cards behind her. Screw the producers. "So would you say if it weren't for his mother he wouldn't be denying your child?"

"Of course that idiot wouldn't be denying her. His mother brainwashed him into thinking she is not his."

"Was he at the hospital? Did he sign the birth certificate?"

"Yea he was at the hospital and was late the lazy ass. He cried when he first saw her. I thought out fight was over and we could work things out again, but _his_ mother had other plans," she sighs and looks down. Temari was emotionally and mentally drained.

"Well this is interesting. I just finished my first sake bottle and I have a feeling I'm going to need more. So everyone welcome Shikamaru and his mother Yoshino while I get another sake bottle. Shizune!"

The audience boos while Shikamaru and his mother come onto the stage and Shizune runs and hands Tsunade another sake bottle.

Temari moves her seat away from theirs and sits to the left of Tsunade. Tsunade looks at Shikamaru "so is it true? Are you a momma's boy and that you" she looks at Yoshino "can't mind your own business?"

Shikamaru rolls his eyes "I'm not a momma's boy I just don't find any reason to argue with the person who gave birth to me."

"I can be in my son's life seeing how he is still a minor and _she_ is an adult."

Temari groans "Oh God can you just read the results so I can rub it in their faces that _he_ is the father."

Tsunade drinks another glass of sake "not yet so just sit tight."

Temari groans again but says nothing. She really didn't want to commit murder on national television. She settles for glaring at Shikamaru. He just looks away a little sadness in his eyes but hides it. Tsunade caught that and asks "so why don't you think this is your child?"

Shikamaru is still looking away but answered "we had a fight and took a break for a couple of days. I went to look for her to try and make it up but I find her with her ex. Then after that she comes and finds me to tell me she's pregnant."

Yoshino jumps in "she took advantage of my son from day one and she's trying to pin him to a child that isn't his but her ex-boyfriend."

"Oh lady please your son is the father and why the hell would I go back to my ex? There are reasons for dumping and leaving your ex's alone."

"Your child looks just like your ex right done to the red-ish in her hair."

"Did it ever occur to either one of you that _I _have a _red_ haired brother?! You're lucky I didn't let my brothers kick your ass the second you started denying my daughter. Plus my beautiful daughter looks like me thank you very much. Thank God she doesn't look like him!" Temari angrily points at Shikamaru.

Tsunade interrupts "OK before I get a bitch fight in this stage I just have one final question before I read the results." She looks at Yoshino "what if this is your grandchild and your son is the father?"

"If this is my grandbaby and my son is the father then I will apologize. My son being the way he was raised will man up and take care of his child."

That's when Temari stands up hands on her hips "oh hell no! Once this test says lazy ass is the father, which it will, neither one of you will have anything to do with my child."

The audience along with Shikamaru just looks at her shocked while Yoshino stands up as well "you cannot deny my son from seeing his child if this is his daughter."

"I don't give a damn! I'm the adult remember also the mother. So I can do what I feel is best for my child. Plus she is going to have two of the best uncles in the world. So she won't lack any male influence in her life."

Shikamaru puts his faces in his hands. He fights back tears but stays quiet while his mother continues to argue. "My son has every right to be a part of this child's life you can't deny him that unless he signs his rights over."

Temari balls her fist, anger starting to rise. "what the hell makes you think either one of you deserve a chance to be part of her life after spending so much time denying her!" The audience cheer, agreeing with Temari.

Tsunade stands up "ok both of you sit down now and we'll read these results."

Both ladies sit down and Tsunade gets the results from Shizune, "honest to God you're all acting like children. Alright then in the case of Temari's child Shikamaru….you ARE the father!"

Temari jumps up and yells "I told you, I _beep_ told you!" The audience cheers wildly.

Yoshino just nods her head "ok then."

She grabs Tsunade's hand and shakes it. "Thanks for telling them that he is the father."

Tsunade raises an eyebrow "uh sure thing Temari."

Shikamaru stands steps toward Temari but she just pushes him and walks off.

Tsunade looks at the audience "well then thank you for joining us and stay tuned for out next episode!" Meanwhile Shikamaru and his mother follow Temari off the stage.

**BACKSTAGE**

Shikamaru caught up with Temari and grabs her wrist "Tem stop and listen to me for just a second."

"Why the hell should I?! You knew she was yours and yet you let your mother change your mind!"

He looks down and let's go of her wrist. "Fine I'll admit that I let her get into my head but you can't just take her…you can't."

She looks at him sadly, but turns around and crosses her arms trying to put on her angry face. Shikamaru hugs her from behind and whispers in her ear "I love you and our daughter you know that. I'm sorry."

She sighs and her anger slips away. She turns around still in his arms "alright lazy I'll give you one more shot This is your last chance. Got it?"

Shikamaru smiles and kisses her and a cough is heard from behind them. Both turn to see Yoshino standing there. Temari walks to her and Yoshino gives her a hug, "I'm sorry. Don't worry your child is going to be spoiled rotten now."

Temari smiles and laughs a little "she better be."

Shizune walks up to the trio holding Temari's daughter. "Ok happy family I have a grumpy little girl here who wants her family."

Shikamaru gets his daughter from Shizune. "Hey there princess daddy's here" he gives her a kiss on the head.

Yoshino holds her next "hey there cutie just wait until we get home. I think I'll get grandpa to buy you a pony" said little girl smiles and giggles.

**Don't forget to review! Have an awesome day!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Next couple in this ep is InoKiba. This one will be in two parts and if you have a couple in mind let me know.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my Nintendo DS Light**

"Welcome everyone back to the show with more drama and suspense as well as the show with the most shocking results this is the Tsunade Show!" audience stands clapping and cheering.

"Alright before we start Shi- oh your already here" Shizune hands Tsunade two sake bottles with a glass and walks off the stage.

She pours herself a glass "alright everyone today my guest is an 17 year old blonde who is here to confront someone. Please welcome Ino!" audience cheers and many guys whistle.

Tsunade drinks her sake then turns to Ino "alright what's your story kid?"

Ino smoothes out her purple tank top before exploding "I'm here because of a certain dog loving idiot! That flea bag refuses to take care of my son! I'm here to prove he is the father of my son!"

Tsunade blinks at the sudden outburst but recovers quickly and drinks another glass of sake. She looks at Ino again and raises her eyebrow "so your absolutely sure that this 'flea bag' is the father?"

Ino stands and exclaims "I'm 1000% sure he is the father!" and that comment the audience cheers for her and the guys keep whistling.

Tsunade drinks another glass of sake "wow real sure, so who is this guy?"

Ino huffs, crosses her arms, and sits back down "sadly his name is Kiba and we go to the same school."

Tsunade almost spits out her sake but regains her posture quickly "he's back here again? Oh great I didn't expect anyone to come back here" she drinks another glass.

Ino gives her a questionable look "are you even allowed to be drinking on this show?"

Tsunade shrugs "hey those other programs you kids watching have drinks, drugs, and sex which show a lot more then they should so why can't I drink?"

She stands "but anyway alright every welcome once again Kiba!" she goes and greets him while the audience boos. Ino moves his chair away and sits back down so do Tsunade and Kiba.

Tsunade smirks at Kiba "so back again sir only this time with another girl."

Kiba rolls his eyes "haha lady and I see your still drinking with straightforward comments."

"You got that right kid. So what's your side of the story, and I'm sure we can piece together that you had sex with Ino here."

Kiba leans back in the chair "ya we did and if you remember what Tenten said the first time-"

Tsunade raises her hand "wait are you saying that she" points at Ino "is the girl you cheated on Tenten with?"

Kiba nods and Ino jumps in "to my defense he had told me they weren't together anymore."

Tsunade looks at her "even after you found out he could be the father of Tenten's child you still stayed with him?"

Ino crosses her arms "well ya it was his idea to stay together told me he wanted to be with me, so I decided why not?"

Tsunade finishes her first bottle of sake and nods "then what?"

Ino turns to Kiba and glares at him "that flea bag! After I told him I was pregnant automatically denied my child!"

Kiba leans forward in his seat "ya well your reputation speaks volumes from all the guys you dated. One of those other guys is your kid's dad not me."

Ino stands up and glares at him "just because I date guys doesn't mean I sleep with all of them you idiot!"

Kiba waves his hand "I'm sure you didn't" and rolls his eyes.

Ino balls her fists and smacks Kiba on the head. He stands up and the body guards make Kiba sit down as well as Ino.

Tsunade is half way done with her second bottle and looks at both teens "alright calm down both of you before I smack both of you."

Both look at her but say nothing. Tsunade continues "ok so Kiba if this is your son are you going to take care of it?"

"Of course if this is my child I will take care of it. I take care of my responsibilities."

Ino rolls her eyes "all you take care of is your dog, and you better take care of your son once you find out its yours!"

Kiba rolls his eyes and Tsunade looks at Ino "what if this isn't Kiba's child?"

Ino crosses her arms "oh it is no doubt in my mind. 1000% sure."

Tsunade drinks another glass of sake "alright then lets get these results and get this show on the road, Shizune!"

The audience cheers and claps as Tsunade is handed the results by Shizune. Tsunade crosses one leg over the other and finishes her last glass of sake, "alright then" she clears her throat "in the case of Ino's son…Kiba you are NOT the father!"

Kiba jumps up pumps fist in the air "I told you! Whoooo! I told you! Haha!"

Ino had run off the stage and gone backstage. With Kiba still gloating and the audience going crazy for a change in result Tsunade walks backstage to find Ino. She finds her sitting on the floor crying sighing Tsunade kneels and puts her hands on Ino's shoulders.

"Hey Kiba isn't the father no use crying about it" Ino doesn't say anything but keeps crying.

Tsunade sighs again "look we'll help you find the real father if you want alright?"

Ino looks at her tears streaming down her face and nods a little. Tsunade smiles a little and pats Ino on the shoulders "good now do you have an idea of who the father could be?"

Ino wipes her tears away and takes shaky breaths calming herself down "I-I do if it's not Kiba then ya I know who it is."

Tsunade nods "ok then we'll get that guy tested no problem. Pull yourself together you still have to be a mom first."

Ino nods again and stands up along with Tsunade. She receives a final smile from the hostess before she walks away. Ino wipes away and final tears and turns to see Kiba standing there "what do you want now? Gloat some more?"

Kiba shakes his head and walks to her and gives her a hug "naw I just wanted to say it's ok and I'm sorry. I could've handled this situation better and I didn't mean any of those things about you and those other guys."

Ino smiles a little "thanks Kiba"

He nods and lets go of her "don't worry I'm sure you'll find your baby's dad" he smiles.

Ino nods "ya I will."

**Here is the end of part one and I don't mean for Kiba to seem like a bad person because I like Kiba. Review please tell me what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys sorry for updating sooo late I was focusing a little more on my other story and I kinda forgot this story. I was asked to do Hinata and Sasuke and I had to think what to write about. Plus school screwed me with so much hw but the good thing is I have only 1 day before school lets out. Anyway here is the next story.**

**Disclaimer: I really own nothing seeing how my mp4 was stolen from at school ****L with summer break right around the corner. How gay is that! L**

"Hello everyone once again and welcome to The Tsunade Show!" audience cheers as the hostess is standing carrying a small pig. She takes a seat and faces the crowd, "so since of recent cost on a certain product I drink we have to cut back."

The crowd starts murmuring to each other can't believe that Tsunade won't be drinking any sake in this episode. Tsunade sighs "alright everyone lets get this on the move I'm a bit cranky" she pets her pig.

"Alright everyone today we will test liars and my guest today is worried her boyfriend might be cheating. Welcome Hinata!"

Audience cheers as a teen of 18 with long violet hair and lavender eyes is sitting next to Tsunade blushing.

Tsunade examines Hinata then says "you look familiar do I know you?"

Hinata blushes and plays with her fingers, "umm my c-cousin was o-on this show."

Tsunade tilts her head to the side thinking, "oh yes I remember now he was the guy I thought was a girl with all that long hair."

Hinata giggles a little "yes he g-gets that o-often."

"If I'm not mistaken he was here for a paternity test and came out to be the father of Tenten's child I believe."

Hinata nods and jumps a little when the pig oinks very loudly while squirming in Tsunade's arms. Tsunade laughs a little "calm down he won't do anything. He's was keeping me sane right now."

Hinata blinks and shifts in her seat uncomfortably. Tsunade pets her pig "your not of a talker are you?"

Hinata blushes "I-I'm sorry it's just I n-never thought I w-would be h-here."

"No one ever does but hey what can you do but caught the basters in the act."

"I-I umm sure."

"Alright then set aside the obvious who have you brought today?"

"His n-name is S-Sasuke and I h-have reason t-to believe he is f-flirting with other g-girls."

"Who in their right mind would cheat on you?"

Hinata stares at the floor "I-I'm not the m-most c-confident person."

Tsunade stops her foot "bullshit no reason to do that to someone so sweet and kind as you."

Hinata stares at her eyes wide "I've barely been here 5 minutes how could you tell?"

Tsunade smirks proudly "trust me I can read people and I can tell you're a kind soul" her pig oinks in agreement.

Hinata smiles and then Tsunade clears her throat "anyway I can't wait to meet this boyfriend of yours. So everyone welcome Sasuke!"

Audience boos as Sasuke a young teen with black hair and hints of blue and black eyes walks calmly onto the stage.

Tsunade shakes his hand with a bit of extra force but still puts on a smile. Both sit down and Tsunade stares at Sasuke while the pig seems to be glaring at Sasuke. He is unfazed and just stares back. Finally Tsunade breaks the silence before it became awkward, "so Sasuke why have you been brought here?"

Sasuke responds coolly "I believe you know the answer."

Hinata looks at him "d-don't be r-rude."

Sasuke grumbles a 'whatever' and a vein pops out on Tsunade's forehead. She forces a smile while her pig seems to have oinked angrily.

"Alright then what's your side of the story then?"

"Nothing to tell Hinata is just over reacting I'm not seeing anyone else" was Sasuke response in a calm voice.

Tsunade breaths out to calm herself "you know your answers are really pissing me off and I have no sake with me. So why don't you stop being a smart ass so we can get this over with already."

Sasuke just stares at her "it's your show lady I don't want to be here any more than you do."

Hinata puts her hand on Sasuke's should "S-Sasuke please b-behave."

Tsunade puts her hand up signaling Hinata she wasn't offended, Hinata puts her hand on her lap. Tsunade looks at Sasuke and smiles a little "seeing that I'm a nice person I'll give you a chance to tell Hinata anything. Clear your stories right now."

"I have nothing to hide" was Sasuke's response.

Tsunade smirks "alright then" she turns to the audience "what Sasuke nor Hinata know is that last night we put Sasuke in our green room with our decoy!"

The audience cheers and 'ohh' at Sasuke while Hinata has a surprised expression, Sasuke's eyes widen a bit but he quickly composes himself.

Tsunade points at the audience "our special ops expert Ka- dam it Kakashi! If I'm not allowed to drink sake you can't read your book!"

Kakashi a young man in his twenties with silver hair and a mask that covers almost his entire face except his right eyes puts his hand up as a gesture to calm down and puts his orange book away. Tsunade clears her throat "any way Kakashi here put Sasuke in our green room with a male and female decoy. So tell us what did you discover Kakashi?"

Kakashi puts his hands in his pocket "well he wasn't all the way open with our male decoy but he said a lot more with the female so why don't we play that part."

Everyone looks at the screen that's behind Hinata and Sasuke,

**IN THE GREEN ROOM**

_Sasuke is sitting in a chair after taking his lie detector test with a pretty girl also in the room._

_The girl crosses her leg and looks at Sasuke "so did you pass?"_

_Sasuke looks at her "what's it to you?"_

_She shrugs her shoulders and twirls a strand of hair between her fingers "just saying because I know I failed been talking to other guys behind my boyfriends back. I have nothing against him he's very sweet and kind I just need a bit more… excitement."_

_Sasuke nods his head "ya my girl is like that too but she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. No one ever said it was wrong to talk with other girls."_

_The girl laughs a little "exactly my thinking nothing wrong with talking and just a little flirting."_

_Sasuke nods his head "well then I failed the test" he looks at the girl "if that's the case we should hang out when this is over."_

The screen goes black and the audience boos at Sasuke while Hinata looks at him in surprise. Tsunade turns to Kakashi "what happen after that?"

Kakashi shrugs "nothing much but he did get her phone number."

Hinata turns to face Sasuke "i-is that t-true?"

Sasuke turns away from her and says nothing. Tsunade claps her hands together "alright then now that the cat is out of the bag let's get the results. Shizune!"

Audience cheers as Shizune runs onto the stage and gives Tsunade the results. Tsunade looks at the couple next to her "Sasuke you were asked do you love Hinata? You said yes, the lie detector determined you're the truth."

The audience claps a little but that answer doesn't make Hinata feel any better. Tsunade continues " you were asked do you lie to Hinata so you can go talk with other girls? You said no, the lie detector determined that was a lie."

Audience boos at Sasuke while Hinata looks at the ground. Tsunade goes on "you were asked do you wish you had a different girlfriend? You said no, the lie detector determined that was a lie."

Hinata sits in her chair for a few moments before she gets up and walks backstage. Tsunade looks at Sasuke "well thanks for being here and have a nice douche monkey."

**BACKSTAGE**

Hinata is breathing trying to control herself but tears are streaming down her face. Sasuke walks up to her "Hinata?"

She jumps surprised but doesn't turn around. Sasuke sighs "Hinata it's not what it seems I care about you."

Hinata shakes her head "y-you said y-you wanted a d-different girlfriend."

Sasuke grabs Hinata's hand "one time I thought that but I realized I was being stupid."

Hinata pulls her hand away "I n-need time t-to think."

Sasuke runs a hand through his hair "Hinata is that really necessary?"

She turns to face him with tears still in her eyes. At the site of this Sasuke frowns and his heart aches. He nods a little "alright….I understand" he kisses Hinata on the head before he walks away.

**I know bad ending but I really couldn't think of anything. I'm not use to this couple so it's not the best. Thanks to all who review my stories and favorite it you're the best! Leave a review tell me what you think, what could be better, and what couple you would like to see.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone I wanted to update one last time before I leave to Texas. Until I return I won't update at all sorry :(****. Thanks to all who have reviewed/alerted/favored you all are awesome! Here is the next chapter. On a different note I got my braces off(finally!) and now have retainers.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything**

"Hello America we find ourselves once again in The Tsunade Show!" audience cheers and claps loudly as the hostess is sitting with her legs crossed and hands in the air. She claps her hands together "I'm also in a good mood for two reasons, 1. I have my sake again and 2. I really don't have much to say but comment on past guests and watching videos."

"Alright we had some interesting guest from paternity tests to lie detector tests on this show" she pours herself a glass of sake. She takes a drink and looks at the crowd "our first guest was a young teen named Tenten and she needed help to determine who was the father of her child, her current man Neji or her ex Kiba."

She turned to the screen next to her "let's take a look down memory lane."

_Video (recap)_

_"So Tenten tell us, why are you here?"_

_"I would like to know who the father of my baby is Kiba or this other guy named Neji." _

_Kiba glares at Neji and speaks first, "well if HE didn't but in OUR business we wouldn't be here."_

_Neji scoffs "please she doesn't deserve you cheating dog." puts his hand on Tenten's leg._

_Tsunade refills her glass and asks "so Tenten who do you want to be the dad?"_

_"Well I would like Neji to be the dad but if it's not I can work something out with Kiba."_

_Tsunade drinks her finally glass of sake and says, "ok lets get these results done with I don't need to see any more lovely actions on my stage plus I'm out of sake. Shizune the results!"_

_"ok in the case of Tenten's kid, Kiba… you are NOT the father. Neji you ARE the father!" _

The screen goes black and Tsunade turns to the crowd, "so Neji was found to be the father while Kiba was left in shock. Were are they now let's see."

**Video Postcard**

Tenten smiling and Neji carrying their son are seen on the screen. Tenten waves "hey Tsunade as you can see Neji and our son are here and we couldn't be happier."

Neji smirks "Kiba has finally left Ten alone good thing too or I would have had to take care of him."

Tenten rolls her eyes and hits Neji playfully on the arm "stop talking all tough Neji, anyway we wanted to thank you now I can sleep in peace knowing Neji is the father of my son."

Neji wraps his free arm around Tenten's waist "you won't be seeing us any time soon the rest of Tenten's children will no doubt be mine."

Tenten nods then blinks and looks at Neji in shock "wait what? The rest of my children- hang on a minute who said I was having any mo-" she was silenced by Neji's lips. Their son looks at them he and babbles nonsense, giggling he looks at the camera and waves good bye.

The screen goes black once again and Tsunade has just finished her first bottle of sake. She tips the sake bottle to see if there was any left seeing there wasn't she turns to the crowd, "since the director believes I can no longer have Shizune keep bringing me sake while the show is on, I now have to go get it myself. So while I go do that I will have you guys watch our next guests Sakura and her boyfriend Naruto who she thought was cheating on her, play the clip."

_Video (recap)_

_Tsunade fills up her first glass and drinks it then says, "ok on today's episode is all about lies and the ugly truth."_

_Sakura shakes her head to get a hold of herself and says, "it started when I went over to his house and I found him passed out on the couch with just his boxers on, not that surprising. What was though is that I looked on the floor by him and found this"_

_She takes out a plastic bag from behind her and from that bag takes out a red lacy thong and throws it on the floor._

_she shifts uncomfortably "new moves and keeps blaming some old geezer with long white hair._

_"I swear I don't know I would never cheat on Sakura after it took so long for her to say yes to me. Come on Sakura you have to believe me."_

_Naruto jumps out of his seat yelling, "that old perv has caused nothing but trouble for me the day I met him peeping into the girls shower room at the gym!"_

_"Naruto you were asked was the underwear found by Sakura from a girl you cheated on her with, you said no and the lie detector determined you're telling the truth."_

_"Naruto you were asked have you ever cheated on Sakura during your relationship, you said no and the lie detector determined you're telling the truth."_

_Tsunade looks at the two and says "alright you guys you have your answers now leave my stage before your love fest gets any further. I want no babies being made on my stage."_

As soon as the screen went black Tsunade had just return with three bottles of sake and sat down. "I remember them that sure was an interesting day" she laughs a little "poor Jiraiya o well he deserved it."

She looks at the crowd "let's check how those two love birds are doing shall we."

**Video Postcard**

Sakura and Naruto with a giant grin are seen. Sakura smiles "hello Tsunade after are appearance on your show our relationship has never been better."

"Yea and Sakura now trusts me more, except if Kiba is involved then she comes with me" Naruto shrugs and scratches the back of his head.

"Also that white haired guy hasn't talked to Naruto in awhile which is a plus."

Naruto wraps his arms around Sakura "don't worry I'm pretty sure you won't see us anytime soon, believe it!"

Sakura rolls her eyes "unless he's being an idiot then I can send him to you so you can handle him."

"Wait you really wouldn't do that right Sakura?" he looks at her fear in his eyes.

Sakura smiles and waves "bye" "wait Sakura!" the screen goes black and Tsunade chuckles a little and drinks some more sake. "Well nice to see that he is still an idiot and Sakura is still wearing the pants in their relationship, alright lets keep moving" she drinks another glass of sake.

"Next guest was a teen Temari who was here to prove to her ex and his mother that her daughter was his."

_Video (recap)_

_Temari has a scowl and is trying to keep her temper but doesn't work for long, "I am pissed off at a certain lazy ass and his freaking mother! If it weren't for __**that**__ women we wouldn't be here!"_

_Tsunade raises her eyebrow after a drink of sake and asks, "so he's a mommas boy then?"_

_"So would you say if it weren't for his mother he wouldn't be denying your child?"_

_"Of course that idiot wouldn't be denying her, his mother brainwashed him into thinking she is not his."_

_Shikamaru is still looking away but answered "we had a fight and took a break for a couple of days. I went to look for her to try and make it up but I find her with her ex. Then after that she comes and finds me to tell me she's pregnant."_

_"Your child looks just like your ex right done to the red-ish in her hair."_

_Both ladies sit down and Tsunade gets the results from Shizune, "alright then in the case of Temari's child Shikamaru….you ARE the father!"_

"These kids need to learn how to handle things on their own don't involve the parents. Anyway let's see how these three managed after the show."

**Video Postcard**

Temari smirking proudly and Shikamaru carrying their daughter is seen. Temari crosses her arms "hey Tsunade what's up as you can see I'm still with my lazy ass man. I'm so glad I was able to show Shikamaru he was the father of my daughter embarrassing him and his mom on TV was just a bonus."

Shikamaru signs "you said you forgave us already."

Temari chuckles a little and gives him a peck on the lips "calm down you big baby. Oh and don't worry my relationship with his mother has improved, our daughter is spoiled beyond belief."

Their daughter speaks baby nonsense to the camera and giggles.

"I believe we have said enough Temari beside I rather be doing something else" with a mischievous grin Shikamaru kisses her neck.

Temari smiles a little "easy there your carrying our daughter" a yell was heard from Yoshino in the background "I would like more grandkids but not right now!" the screen goes black and Tsunade shakes her head a little.

"Something tells me they're going to have 5 kids before they're 30" she finishes another bottle of sake. "Alright moving on our next guest was an angry teen named Ino here to prove a former guest Kiba was the father of her child. Role the clip."

_Video (recap)_

_Ino smoothes out her purple tank top before exploding "I'm here because of a certain dog loving idiot! That flea bag refuses to take care of my son! I'm here to prove he is the father of my son!"_

_Ino stands and exclaims "I'm 1000% sure he is the father!" and that comment the audience cheers for her and the guys keep whistling._

_Kiba leans forward in his seat "ya well your reputation speaks volumes from all the guys you dated. One of those other guys is your kid's dad not me."_

_The audience cheers and claps as Tsunade is handed the results by Shizune. Tsunade crosses one leg over the other and finishes her last glass of sake, "alright then" she clears her throat "in the case of Ino's son…Kiba you are NOT the father!"_

_He nods and lets go of her "don't worry I'm sure you'll find your baby's dad" he smiles._

_Ino nods "ya I will."_

Tsunade finishes another bottle of sake "well we have spoken with Ino and she has said that she will be back for another test with the man she now knows is the father of her child."

"So we will be seeing Ino again shortly then keep watching our show for that episode; our most recent couple were Hinata and Sasuke. Now Hinata brought Sasuke here because she believed he was cheating, let's watch."

_Video (recap)_

_"His n-name is S-Sasuke and I h-have reason t-to believe he is f-flirting with other g-girls."_

_"Nothing to tell Hinata is just over reacting I'm not seeing anyone else" was Sasuke response in a calm voice._

**IN THE GREEN ROOM**

_Sasuke nods his head "ya my girl is like that too but she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. No one ever said it was wrong to talk with other girls."_

_"you were asked do you lie to Hinata so you can go talk with other girls? You said no, the lie detector determined that was a lie."_

_"you were asked do you wish you had a different girlfriend? You said no, the lie detector determined that was a lie."_

Tsunade drinks her final glass of sake "great I'm out, anyway we also got into contact with Hinata and she says that she and Sasuke have not gotten back to together yet. They are however still friends. When we asked Sasuke he gave no comment."

"Well everyone that's our show for today please stay tune for our next episode!"

**Please review let me know what you think Thanks everyone!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone I realized I haven't updated this story in forever, I apologize I was running out of ideas of what to write. So I got this idea while watching Naruto Shippuden; when Sasuke gathers his peoples and goes out to find Itachi. Right now I'm watching the fight between Jiraiya and Pain. I know I'm hella behead in the episodes but I read a lot of spoilers so I more or less know what's going on currently. Anyway before I continue to ramble this is a Suigetsu/Karin.**

**Disclaimer: I own nada sadly**

"Hello American welcome once again to the Tsunade Show!" audience cheers as the hostess is sitting crossed leg in her chair.

"Today will be an interesting show for one I don't have my sake….again and two we decided to give a three in one special which includes a lie detector, DNA test, and finally the green room."

"So the lucky guest today is Karin, everyone please welcome Karin!"

Audience claps as the camera shows Karin, she is 20 with red hair, glasses, with redish eyes.

Tsunade turns to her "well miss lucky don't you get the special treatment today."

Karin crosses her arms "I'm just here to prove to a point to a dumbass."

"It's the same old story on this show but it never gets old seeing the reaction on all your faces" she laughs.

"Look I just want that asshole to feel stupid for denying everything."

Tsunade raises an eyebrow "everything? Like what?"

"My child and the fact that this is all his fault."

"It takes two to tango."

"Karin you're a manipulative evil bitch!" all turn their attention to the screen that's between Tsunade and Karin. The screen shows a young man of 20 with white hair and streaks of light blue. Purple eyes and one of his K-9 teeth sticks out of his lip.

She stands and glares at the screen "ya well you're a _beeping_ dip-_beep_!"

"Takes one to know one."

"Come out here and say it to my face!"

"I would but I rather not be near your face again!"

"Who the hell wants to be near yours!"

The two kept yelling and cussing each other out and the argument got so heated Karin had her face so close to the screen it looked like she was kissing it.

Tsunade looks at the audience, Shizune, and finally sighs. She slams her hand on the small table next to her, "HEY!"

Karin and Suigetsu jump slightly and look at the enraged women.

"OK, Sharkboy and Lavagirl calm your asses! You" she points at Karin "sit down!" Then she points at Suigetsu "and you get out here now!"

Both didn't hesitate and did what they were told. Karin sat down, Suigetsu came out, and Tsunade stood to greet him while the audience cheered. The fighting would continue on the stage this time is what everyone thought.

Tsunade shakes hands with Suigetsu and sits down. Before Suigetsu sat down he glared at Karin and she gladly glared back. He aims to grab the chair but before he could move it Karin gives him a good kick on the leg. He winces in pain but grabs his chair and moves it very far away.

"I'd offer you sake but the dam producer wouldn't let me have any."

Suigetsu shrugs "it's fine just as long as I'm not near her for long."

"Keep talking and I'll make sure you won't have anymore children."

"Oh are you gonna scare away all the women that talk to me, like you did last time?"

Karin blushes a little "w-what I d-didn't do that, don't _beeping_ flatter yourself!"

He rolls his eyes "whatever you say."

Karin is fuming and Tsunade steps in, "so shall we start from the beginning? Tell me your side of the story."

Karin glares at Suigetsu "gladly that bastard denies we spent some nights together which results in him denying my child."

He groans "yes we had sex like what twice?"

Tsunade crosses her legs "you know it can only take one time?"

"I'm aware of that but I wouldn't be so doubtful if she wasn't a lying, conniving, soul less person!"

"I'm not conniving! Your just _beeping_ gullible asshole!"

"The hell I am! Explain Halloween and the dam corn field!"

"It's not my fault you weren't paying attention!"

"You _beeping_ left me behind!"

"I did not!"

"You did so you could be with your "precious" Sasuke-kun!"

Karin blushes again "I-I did n-not! What the hell are you talking about dumb ass!"

"If it weren't for Juugo I would have never gotten out!"

"Well pay attention next time smart ass!"

"HEY!" both jump at the sudden outburst form Tsunade.

"If you two can't shut up for more then 10 seconds I swear to some powerful being I will kick both your asses!"

Silence on set until the audience cheers some screaming "this is better then a movie!" and "glad I come to watch this show!" other pulled out snakes and drinks form where? Who knows but back to the silent umm people on set.

Tsunade sighs "ok now you Sharkboy tell me your side of this."

Suigetsu mimics Karin, "gladly this women was extremely jealous that her "precious" Sasuke was dating this one chick what was her name again?"

"Hinata?" Tsunade asks.

"Ya her anyway Karin being her evil self was out to try and make Sasuke jealous. So there was a party and I was told by her that she didn't want to go alone so I went with her. Drinks and more drinks lead one thing to another now finally we're here."

"Your doubtful because?"

"Who knows what other guys she could have asked the same thing. Plus she's tried countless of times to get rid of me just so she could be alone with Sasuke."

"I do not!"

"You freaking do!"

"You have no proof _beep_-face!"

"I _beeping_ despise you!"

"Well that makes two of us!"

"GREEN ROOM DAM IT!"

"Wait what?" both were confused but the footage of Karin and the decoy was being played.

**Green Room**

_Karin was sitting crosses leg with a female decoy. The decoy asks Karin what she was here for._

"_To prove to an idiot that I wasn't with anyone else when I got pregnant."_

"_Were you?"_

"_No I wasn't."_

"_Tell me was it that guy with blue and white hair."_

"_Sadly that's him and if he would just shut up form time to time he would be some what decent."_

"_Seems pretty sexy to me."_

_Karin glares at her "watch what you say."_

"_I thought you weren't with him, if your in here that has to be the case."_

"_W-Well I'm not but still."_

"_Still what like him?"_

"_Y-Your crazy!"_

"_Hmmmm well then I guess you wouldn't mind if I asked him for his number then" the decoy smiles sweetly at her._

_Karin smirks at her "he wouldn't go for someone like you anyway."_

"_Oh really? That's funny because he seemed to like just fine enough to give me his number already."_

_Karin said nothing but glared at the girl, she was very pissed off._

The screen goes black for a second before Suigetsu is shown in the green room with a male decoy.

_Suigetsu was staring at the ceiling bored when the decoy asks him about the test._

"_Eh can't say I failed there was nothing to hide."_

"_Who you come with?"_

"_A red head who's heart is as cold as the Antarctic."_

"_Well she has a nice body wouldn't mind tapping that."_

_Suigetsu laughs "trust me don't waste your time she won't fall for just any guy."_

_The decoy made it seem as though he was texting "then tell me why I'm texting her now?"_

_Suigetsu stops laughing and nearly falls out his seat "your what!"_

_Decoy chuckles "what do you know she digs me too."_

_Suigetsu was stunned but quickly shook it off and acted as though he didn't care._

"_Well she's not serious, she has a kid to think about."_

"_Yea she just said if I met her kid first then we could go out."_

_At this Suigetsu stands up his fists balled, "like beeping hell I'm gonna let you do that."_

The screen goes black and the two young adults were shocked. Tsunade smiles triumphantly at finally getting the two to shut up. She looks at Kakashi their special ops expert, "so can you tell us what happen next?"

She looks at the audience to see Kakashi reading his book again.

"Kakashi damit! Put that away or I will throw this table at you!"

Kakashi looks up from his book, "eh? Sorry did you say something Tsunade?"

What he got in response was the small table being hurled at him and the nearby people. Both he and the audience jumped out the way which caused a lot of noise from the yelling and the cracking of the table and chair.

Kakashi stands up dusting himself off "uhh so who should we talk about first?"

Tsunade crosses her arms and glares at him "next time it will hit your head. Anyway why don't we start with Sharkboy?"

"Right well as you saw he was none to pleased when the child was involved. A fight almost broke out we managed to get him out before he threw a punch at our decoy."

Karin looks at Suigetsu "why the hell were you so concerned?"

"Why the hell were you jealous of the girl who had my number?"

"She was full of herself."

"Great you can relate to that."

"You son of a-"

"Kakashi! Continue" Tsunade interrupts Karin.

"With the girls we also had to remove her as well seeing as her anger almost resulted in a cat fight with the decoy."

"Thank you Kakashi you may go now."

Kakashi nods and walks off carefully watching his back to make sure Tsunade didn't throw another object at him.

Tsunade clears her throat "well might as well get these lie detectors out of the way, Shizune!"

Audience cheers as Shizune hands Tsunade the results. "Alright then Karin you were asked were you with anyone else other than Suigetsu? You said no and the lie detector determined your telling the truth."

"_Beeping_ told you!"

"You were asked do you hate Suigetsu? You said yes and the lie detector determined that was a lie."

Karin blushed and Suigetsu was confused. Tsunade continues "you were asked do want to be with Suigetsu you said no and the lie detector determined that was a lie."

He looks at Karin in shock while she looks at anything but him or Tsunade.

Tsunade smirks "moving on. Suigetsu you were asked do you wish to be the father of Karin's daughter? You said yes and the lie detector determined you were telling the truth."

"You were asked were you ever jealous of the attention Karin gave to Sasuke? You said no and the lie detector determined that was a lie."

Know it was Karin's turn to look at Suigetsu in surprise but he looked away, slight blush on his cheeks.

"You were asked do you hate Karin you said yes and the lie detector determined that was a lie."

The audience cheers after the results and Tsunade calls for the DNA results seeing how the young adults on set were to stunned to say anything.

"Ok now this is the icing on the cake!" she waves the DNA results in the air and the cheers very loudly.

"Alright then in the case of Karin's daughter, Suigetsu…..you ARE the father!"

After those words Karin snaps out of her trace and jumps up "ha! I told you! Who's the bitch now!"

Tsunade stands and looks at the audience "well that's our show today! Thank you everyone and tune in for our next one!" audience stands as well cheering and screaming.

**Back Stage**

Karin is holding her daughter and staring at Suigetsu.

He sighs "I'm sorry."

Karin hands him their daughter who is currently sucking on her pacifier.

Suigetsu smiles at her and Karin says "you know I wouldn't let a stranger meet her I'm not retarded."

"I know I should have known better."

"Well at least you look out for her."

"Ya well now I have two girls to look after."

Karin blushes "I-I guess you do."

**End what you think? Please leave me a review or PM me I want to know your thoughts. How it could be better, what to change, any couples? I'm running out of couples. If your favorite couple hasn't been introduced or has been paired with some else let me know. I'm sure I could find some way to make it work. Thanks everyone :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Holy crap I haven't touched this story in years. :o but it's funny I got this idea one day just sitting down and eating. It just freaking hit me. Sooooo yea without further ado this is a GaaraMatsuri chapter. **

**Disclaimer: broke ass college student typing away here so nope Naruto isn't mine**

Tsunade yawned as she waited for the show to begin airing. They were to go live in a few minutes. She took this time to think of witty comments and how to hide the fact that she managed to steal some sake.

She quickly scans the stage. The producers and Shizune were busy preparing last minute details. Smiling Tsunade quietly takes out her secret stash of sake from under the floorboard. She pours herself a cup and enjoys the liquid going down her throat.

"Tsunade" the producers hissed from his position below the stage.

"Oh lighten up man. It was just a small sip!"

The producer face palms and Shizune is pointing at the camera madly. Tsunade looks at the camera and sees the light singling they were filming.

Oh crap they were live!

Tsunade quickly stands and not so discretely flings her cup behind her. "Hello once again America and welcome back to the Tsunade Show!"

The audience ignored the fact the hostess is most likely is an alcoholic and just cheered wildly.

Tsunade clasps her hands together. "Today we our guest is a young girl who fears her boyfriend is being unfaithful."

The audience boos.

"Everyone please welcome Matsuri!"

The audience claps but no one comes out from backstage. The producer begins to panic and sends Shizune to go and find the girl. Tsunade rolls her eyes at the incompetence of the people she works with.

"Excuse the delay it seems she got lost going to the bath-"

Just then a girl with short brown hair runs onto the stage. A man with very long white hair runs after her.

"Wait you didn't hear how the hero and the heroin made up!"

The girl blushes a scarlet red and hides behind Tsunade.

"Jiraiya! What are you doing?"

The man Jiraiya shrugs. "This beautiful young maiden was all alone so I thought I would keep her company. I began to tell her the story of my latest novel when she ran off."

With incredible speed Tsunade punches Jiraiya on the head.

"Ow! What the hell Tsunade?!"

"Stop harassing my guests!"

"How am I harassing? If anything you're scaring them with that manly strength of yours!"

In a blink of an eye Jiraiya was flying in the air and made it backstage with a large crash and a thud. The producer was mortified and proceeded to faint. The camera crew continued to film.

Tsunade clears her throat and wipes off imaginary dust from her outfit and hands. She side steps from her guest and once again addresses the audience. "Welcome Matsuri!"

Once the initial shock was gone the audience cheers.

Tsunade takes a seat and motions for the girl to do the same. The girl Matsuri quickly takes her seat. She was a girl who didn't look older than 16, hair was short and brown, and she had dark eyes. She wore a blue off the shoulder shirt, a skirt, and sandals.

Completely ignoring the event that just took place Tsunade smiles at the young girl. "Tell me Matsuri why are you here today?"

Matsuri takes a moment to gather her strength. "I-I'm here because I think my boyfriend is cheating on me."

"I don't understand boys. They cheat on the good, innocent, and beautiful girls. Look at you. You're so adorable I could just squeeze you!"

"Thank you?" Matsuri didn't know if that was a compliment or not. Quite frankly she was intimidated by the hostess.

"So what's the name of this scumbag?"

"Gaara," the screen in between the two women turns on. It shows a man with short red hair, a tattoo of 'love' on his forehead, and with sky blue eyes.

The trait that really got her attention was the dark circles around his eyes. Or was it eyeliner?

Tsunade leans toward her guest. "Are you sure he's straight?"

Matsuri blushes "why do you ask?"

"Is he wearing eyeliner?"

"No! He's insomniac."

Tsunade wasn't completely sure. "Are you sure?"

"You do know I can hear you," Gaara calmly points out.

Tsunade glares at him. "Alright smartass come on out. I'm dying to meet you."

The audience boos as Gaara walks onto the stage. Tsunade stands and non to gently shakes hands with him. Both sit down and start a glaring contest. The audience and Matsuri watch in suspense. Waiting to see who would kill the other first.

Gaara was wearing a white shirt, black jeans with chains hanging, black boots, and had a lot of god knows what on his wrists. Tsunade snorts. "Now I have a goth or whatever the hell you call it on my stage."

"And I'm face to face with an alcoholic whose show is nothing but trash."

Tsunade felt her eye twitching. "You don't want to test me boy."

"I'm not scared of you grandma."

"You're so god damn rude! And why the hell do you look familiar?"

"His sister was on your show, Temari" Matsuri mange's to speak up.

Tsunade blinks. "She's your sister?"

"Are you deaf too? She just said she was."

"All right you little bastard-"

"Please I came here for a reason!"

Both Tsunade and Gaara stop their glaring. Gaara looks away and Tsunade pats Matsuri on the shoulder. "I know you did. I apologize for my behavior."

Gaara scoffs and Tsunade ignores him for Matsuri's sake.

"Tell me why you think this low life is cheating on you."

"W-Well for one our age difference-"

"You know that doesn't mean anything to me."

"You're not allowed to speak," Tsunade glares at the red head. "Continue"

"I'm still 16, turning 17 soon, and he's 19."

"Wow you pedophile." Tsunade completely ignores the murderous glare from Gaara.

"He's been talking to some late at night. I know it's a girl. So I made him promise to come on the show. If he didn't I would break up with him."

"Enough said. Kakashi the results before I murder you!"

Kakashi calmly stands with his little orange book. He tears his eyes away from the pages. "He didn't take the test."

"What do you mean he didn't take it?!"

Kakashi shrugs while reading his book. "He refused no matter what we did. So we don't have any results."

Tsunade was stunned. This hasn't happened before. She grabs Gaara by the collar roughly, "what's your problem kid."

"I promised to come on the show nothing more."

"I should kick your ass right here right now."

"I'm surprised the network has allowed for your show to continue to air with all the violence, alcohol, and cursing."

"Do you know why shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Bad Girls Club stay on air? Ratings baby! And we got them!"

Gaara frees himself from the hostess grip. "This show is a laughing stock."

Matsuri stands in between them. She bows politely to Tsunade. "Thank you. I got the answers I was looking for."

"Eh?" Tsunade was confused.

Gaara grabs her by the shoulders. "Matsuri what are you saying?"

She shrugs off his hands. "I got my answers. I'm breaking up with you."

Gaara was stunned. He couldn't believe his ears. Tsunade went to her sake. This was giving her a headache. Matsuri thanks the hostess once more before walking off the stage.

Gaara clenches his fists, "this is your fault."

"Who didn't take a simple lie detector test to prove his innocence?"

He doesn't respond. He runs after the girl he couldn't lose. Tsunade madly singles the camera crew to follow the young couple.

**Backstage**

Gaara quickly catches up with Matsuri. He spins her around so she was facing him.

"I did not nor have I ever cheated on you."

Tears begin to fall. "You're keeping secrets!"

"Fine then! I have been talking to a woman on the phone. But it's-"

Matsuri slapped him. "I knew it! I gave you a year of my life! You cold, heartless-"

Gaara slams his lips against hers. Matsuri struggled and manages to push him away. "What are you doing?!"

"Listen to me!"

"Why should I? You just admitted you cheated on me!"

Gaara pulls out a box from his pocket. He opens it to show off a simple ring. Matsuri gasp.

"I've been talking to a woman at night so that this ring made it to the shop on time. Also so that I could surprise you."

"Is t-that…" she couldn't finish the sentence. Her brain shut down.

Gaara shakes his head, "it's a promise ring. I wanted to give this to you to show that I'm serious about this relationship."

Matsuri didn't bother holding back her sobs and tears. Gaara quickly embraces her and kisses away the tears.

"If you'll still have me, will you accept the ring?"

Matsuri couldn't speak she just nodded.

Gaara smiles and slides the ring on her finger. He kisses her again but this Matsuri responds with the amount of passion.

The camera goes from backstage back to Tsunade. She smiles and nods her head in approval. She turns to the audience, "there you have another exciting episode of the Tsunade Show! Thanks for watching and tu-"

Jiraiya runs onto the stage grabbing Tsunade by the shoulder he begins to shake her. "There is a homicidal red head back there trying to kill me!"

"Let me go you old fart!"

Gaara reappears on stage. Jiraiya screams and runs away with Gaara hot on his heels.

The audience cheers for Gaara this round. Knowing the red head was getting the pervert back for telling his sweet innocent girlfriend things she didn't need to know yet.

Tsunade shakes her head but smiles. "Tune in next week! Trust me you don't want to miss any of the action!"

**Two updates for two different stories. I'm on a roll! What do you think? Leave a review and tell me what you thought! Thanks everyone :D**


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